so, I sit on the precipice of a “historic” storm… I can feel it actually, I feel the anxiety of the masses… or is it me, nah, I love storms. Am I mad? or is this a real thing.. we are amped up now… big storm coming… blizzards do happen, in fact I recall a few as a kid.. bad ones, frozen cars in streets for weeks, tunneling to my neighbors yard under the snow banks that one time, I wish I had an Iphone back then to record the crime, yeah… I do recall that. I do not recall the supermarket panic… I see that now, I also never recall being stuck in my house longer than 2 days solid. I DO recall being stuck in the snow as a toddler… I climbed up this impossible slope, it was probably 5 feet tall… stomped my little feet.. and got stuck! I freaked out, I so remember it… crying out like a bear caught in one of those immense traps but I had much smaller feet… I remember the rescue, my boots slipped off my feet as mom picked me straight up, she was much stronger in those days, so I forget, I have the same feeling as little mind all dressed in layers for winter but now in a bind… but no longer in the same bind, how time passes, impossible to describe… because you have to live through it.
first and last, musing on seagulls
for even the gulls might acknowledge
somewhere inside their glide
across this –
a setting sun.
constant sea
of tides riding along this beach
a singular moment in time
so warm, so close, to what might be perfection-
as assembled ingredients can come
sprinkled in like fairy dust
magical?
if there is such a thing,
than so is this cauldron
the cataclysm of all time collides
right now does-
with such soft embrace
to grace my mind
and still my heart-
for this-
a postcard in motion
a photo that can not be stopped
all in sight, for those who wish to see
as I sit, the universe has written this
for me, to witness.
to be the first
or to be the last
alas,
would I know the past
or the future
to start- or end
this path.
this is where I was when I wrote this… chapter and verse… well, all verse…
top to bottom, in reality
relevance;
there seems to be a race
with no end
just medals of various tint
or a monument
to what end?
the pauper dies
the prince lives in grandeur
the dirt below
knows no such heights
simple. truth.
…(rain)…
close your eyes, take a moment to pause, take a breath, speak the word “rain” in your mind and outloud on your lips, that one word, I bet you are immediately taken to your own experience by that one word spoken, think about how amazing that is, with one word I drew a memory out or at least a picture in your mind, or maybe a movie clip or tik tok clip… that is our primal mind, that is how we are wired, we all are. underneath our daily lives perhaps runs that river that when we hear certain words we feel them… just something to contemplate my friends… as I grow older I ponder things, and we should all take time to ponder things, because … why not?
and even gods…
burnt scarlet ire
as the retreating sun
surfs along the water drawn
when you have taken
down the hard journey’s long road
the end disappoints
for even gods
taste bitter mortality
just measured more by some
by threads of centuries-
in stories
where books become
all we’ve known
of the ascended ones
for even gods or the god is the same fabric of stars we are…
my travels…
I have not been writing as much, I used to be afraid of that… writer’s block… but why force things? You have to learn how to let go of expectations… seriously, let it go, the world keeps spinning, the sun rise keeps rising, if there is anything I can pass on – it is that. do I always adhere to that? no… I am struggling, as well all do with what we know is the truth… truth is easy to say or type, but much harder to implement, but like most things practice makes function… observation of truth makes a path forward. So, I might get asked as I might be perceived to neglect my craft… what are you up to? Well, funny you should ask… I am really most invested in traveling around my state these days (and those surrounding ones)… getting into nature, small or strong, all things in between… trying to find those perfect scenes… so here is one…
I invite you into my journey, of video, no words… but I will continue here sometimes in fury, sometimes in pauses… sometimes in mountains, sometimes in valleys…. we are not monoliths people… pursue your dreams, pursue what you want and will, that is my sage advice, it is simple, but so is life once you understand such things… watch it slow down in front of your eyes, and realize, even your enemies endure the same fate at any rate- in any hour- in any circumstance. All we can do is be our best. so be that as best you can be, we will all fail, that is life, even the great winners taste defeat at some time… just remember that like chewing gum in your mind…
with due respect, relativity
how towers crumble
but how we taunt the moon
or to touch down on mars
no. no. not so soon
does one need to fly up to the sun directly
to be the peril’s fool?
even the sphinx slumbers blanketed in sand
a volcano’s slight rumble buries lands
or rises up in paradise-platforms
for pineapples and a hula dance
alas-
here we are, globally connected
and yet far-miles apart-
by some measures taught,
all the while-
we only know what we know-
certainties we glean from antiquity
but with no TV screen
to turn up a thumb or down, we switch the channel
only as smart, as the next start
of a day, a decade, a generation
looking back with the glass of current indignation
will the future be-
instant thought transmission? I’ll never know
and still then
the limit is not imagination
but this finite evolution, of humanity, in the speck of time we have.
the one I love..
yes, this goes out to the one I love… how much simpler can I get.. how much can implore you not to be me… my regret is, I am a romantic moron, a purist… an absolutist… I hate myself for it but how do you break the chains of your own construct? fuck me… I am 50 and still harbor utterly stupid insecurities… guilty… I wish there was a guide for this, I would think there should be by now… why has it taken me so long to not give a shit about … well, anything, especially since my life is closer to death than it is life… and perhaps kids… it is the type of thing that can drive you nuts about life… just venting I guess, who cares what I post, probably no one, but if it resonates with anyone… I am cool with that, that was always the point of this space, me being me, today, well, tonight I am just lost, not in a bad way, like suicide… which I have considered so many times over the years in theory only… but I never came close to action, I understand it… in some ways… like we all die, so why wait… or total pain, but maybe I am afraid of that as well… or both circumstances… I don’t know, in 1000 years my words will be lost and nothing anyway, but I say hold on to life as long as you can… because we have nothing else to hold onto and nothing else we can know or have known… damn it is a lot to contemplate… and I do… and it bothers me… I am alone. and I dont mind it, but I regress to the time I was with her… even now, but I am so wired different, I used to think there was something wrong with me… no. I am me… we are all wired different and that is why we need these spaces and talk to each other… nothing has changed in the digital age… be with people and talk to people, that connection can never be replaced… now you have more people to communicate with… do it with love in your heart.
clarity
seek not the righteous path
for there is no map
your inner compass
will
point the way
so- listen
your feet will follow
sometimes it best, to sit near a window, observe the snow, listen to the quiet as flakes fall, with a warm cup of joe… and just be… let things come to you in the calm.
lost, love, letters…
might I send out an army-
to rescue you.
if I only had the resource-
beyond just my love,. my love.-
a net
to catch you
on the fall
a web knitted
from the silk of my soul
but I have no control-
over you
Shades of My Garden 